Young People (11-19 years)

There are many different reasons why someone might take drugs or drink lots of alcohols. They might feel like they need to in order to fit into a group, to deal with stressful situations of simple curiosity of what it feels like. Because of this, it is a good idea to know the risks involved in taking them, and also to know what to seek help.

It’s important to remember that taking illegal drugs is a criminal offence which could lead to a criminal conviction.

Effects of the Body

People mostly take drugs and alcohol for the short-term effects they provide. These include lower inhibitions, distorted view of reality, or feeling more alert and awake. However, due the temporary effects, drugs and alcohol can quickly become addictive, due to the euphoric feelings they provide. Addictions can cause serious long-term stress and illnesses on the body such as liver damage, cancer, long term memory loss and increase dangerous behaviours.

Effects of Mental Health

As well as physical effects on the body, drugs and alcohol have a significant impact on the person’s mental health and wellbeing. One reason why people chose to take drugs or alcohol is to avoid stressful or uncomfortable situations. While this may provide some temporary relief, in case they can make the feelings feel worse, especially after the effects have worn off, significantly reducing their mental health even more. This ultimately can create a cycle of taking drugs and alcohol to experience a relief. In extreme cases this would result in the person being controlled by taking drugs and alcohol, and then being addicted. As previously mentioned, continued use of drugs and alcohol can create serious health issues.

Additionally, there are strong links to drugs and alcohol increasing the raise of a mental health concern, such as depression, anxiety, paranoia, and hallucinations.

When and where to seek help

If you are worried about you or someone you know, it can help to talk to someone you trust. This could be a friend, relative, carer, teacher or counsellor.

In addition, you can contact your GP for advice, or contact a helpline service. Frank https://www.talktofrank.com/ offer a free email and texting service to discuss any concerns or worries you might have.

Additionally, Medway turning point offers free advice, and referral for substance misuse. http://wellbeing.turning-point.co.uk/medway/ Also, Open Road provide support on drugs and alcohol misuse https://www.openroad.org.uk/

If it is a emergency situation please call 999

Our first relationships are a big deal! It’s where all the first-time things happen. Falling in love, having sex, becoming close with someone can all feel exciting and amazing. They can also feel challenging and stressful because they are something new that we aren’t use to yet. This is normal as you are figuring out how things work and what you want.

Good relationships

Every relationship is completely different so there is no right or wrong ask here. For each person, a relationship will be different depending on what they would like and feel comfortable with. Dot become too hung up on how the relationship looks on the outside, or what you think a perfect relationship should be like. What’s most important is that you and your partner feel comfortable. However, there are some key factors of what makes up good relationships. These include trust, respect and honesty. This goes for all relationships including casual dating and hook ups. You should always be able to trust the person you’re with and know they respect you and will be honest with you. Communication is important too. You should feel you can talk to them and that they’ll listen to you.

Unhealthy relationships

Knowing the signs of an unhealthy relationship is key to avoiding them, as well as pain and heartache.

Abuse is the first sign something isn’t quite right. This is not only physical abuse, but also emotional and verbal too. It is not okay for someone to hurt you physically or emotionally.

Controlling behaviours or trying to get you to do things you aren’t comfortable with is another sign. You should not feel pressured into doing things you do not feel comfortable with.

It is particularly important when having sex. You do not have to have sex with someone just because you are in a relationship. You should wait until you are ready. When having sex, it’s important to remember that it is your choice. If you chosen to have sex, but no longer feel comfortable with it, that is okay too. In a good relationship, your partner will understand and respect your decision. For sexual health advice, ask your school nurse, or visit your local sexual health clinic.

What do to if you are in a unhealth relationship

It’s important to consider what you would like out of a relationship. If the person you are with is not providing you with this, you can always end things. You should not feel pressured to stay or do what they want. This can be difficult when you care and love someone. One way to help figure things out if to consider what you would say to a friend if they were in your situation. You can provide support and advice at the Medway relate centre here https://www.relate.org.uk/find-my-nearest-relate/centre/kent-medway-north-kent-relate-centre

Gender identity

Gender is a term used to describe how they feel they are as a person, for example, you can label yourself boy or girl, woman or a man. Although sometimes confused, someone’s gender identify is not linked to someone’s biological sex. There are many terms related to gender identity but here are a few that you may come across. Non-binary is where the person feels they do not feel they belong to any gender identity. Transgender, is where someone’s gender is difference to their gender assigned at birth. Cisgender is where someone’s gender in the same as their gender assigned at birth, they may use the term cisgender.

Sexuality

Sexuality is whom someone is attracted to. There are many different terms to describe sexuality. For example, heterosexual is a male being attracted to a female and vice versa, Homosexual is two males being attracted to get other, or two females being attracted to each other, and there is also bi which is where someone is attracted to both females and males.

Gender Dysphoria

This is where someone is experiencing discomfort or distress because their gender identity is difference from their biological sex. This can start at a young age. This could mean that someone may not want to wear their normal style of clothes anymore, and becomes worried about puberty as their bodies will start to develop in a way they do not identity thing. Some people who experience gender dysphoria will chose to transition and ‘come out’ This is a period of transitioning into the presenting themselves as the gender identity they feel comfortable in.

Help and Support

Gender identity and sexuality can be a tricky thing for young people and adults to understand, particularly around the period of transition. The National Be You Project as a Medway hub which provides support for both young people and parents. They offer one to one support, and group session, as well as parent/carer groups. They currently offer support for under 12’s, and 13 to 17-year olds. You can self refer to the service. Please visit their website for more details. https://thebeyouproject.co.uk/in-your-area/medway/

Self esteem

Self esteem is defined by what you feel and think about ourselves. This can mean whether we value ourselves, believe in our abilities to do things, move one from mistakes without blame, and believing you matter and deserve happiness.

Confidence

Confidence is defined by believing in yourself and your own abilities. It is about having an understanding and accepting yourself for who you are. It is not always about having an outgoing personality.

Both self esteem and confidence are considered a feeling. This means they are not a fixed emotion. In fact, they fluctuate with events that occur throughout our lives. For example, getting a low-test score, when you felt confident during the test. This is normal, and it is highly likely that something will happen to boost your self esteem and confidence again. However, there can be times when you may experience low self esteem and confidence for a longer period. If this is the case, you may want to discuss this with your GP, as this could be linked other mental health concerns.

Ways to boost your self esteem and confidence:

1. It is important to consider what may have triggered your decrease in self esteem and confidence. There are a variety of different things that could impact this. Some examples include: social media; results at school; support from people you trust; your appearance and body image; relationships, physical and mental health issues etc. Consider talking to someone you trust to discuss options to limit stressors.
2. Positive self talk. Remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes, and think what you have learnt from making them.
3. Avoid comparing yourself to others. Limiting your time on social media.
4. Adopt a healthy lifestyle. Eat balanced and exercise regularly.
5. Celebrate your successes
6. Do things that you enjoy
7. Spend time with the people you love and care about
8. Know your limits.

Feeling low or down is normal. We all experience times where we feel sad, and it is hard to keep going with our daily activities. Often this feeling can last a day or so and then pass. Sometimes it can be more obvious why you are feeling this way. Perhaps you are changing schools or your family is going through difficult time. Other times there might not be any particular reason why you feel this way.

What is feels like

• Easily getting angry or frustrated
• Being tearful
• Worrying a lot and having a low opinion of themselves
• Feeling tired and lacking energy – having trouble sleeping /sleeping too much.
• Changes in eating habits.
• Not wanting to be with family or friends and losing interest in things they usually enjoy.

Things you can do that may help:

1. You may feel like hiding away from everyone, but spending time with people can improve your mood. This can be as simple as watching a film together, cooking or playing a game.
2. Be active. Exercise is a great way to improve your mental health and overall wellbeing. We recommend finding something that you really enjoy doing so it feels like fun rather than a chore.
3. Mindfulness. This is a great tool to relax your mind, and focus on the present, as well as letting go of your worries. You can find lots of useful exercises and tips online.

Seeking help

If your low mood is persistent we recommend that you speak to your local GP. In additional Kooth is an online support service which provide 12 free online sessions with trained counsellors. They also have online forums for you and others to share they experiences to learn from each other. https://www.kooth.com/

Anxiety

Anxiety is described as feeling worried or fearful. Everyone feels like this from time to time due to event in their lives. For example, exams or issues with friends and family. Anxiety can become an issue if it is persistent and it stops your for carrying out your daily activities. At this stage it can be extremely overwhelming or unmanageable. There are physical, emotional symptoms of anxiety.

These include:

Physical: Panic attacks (racing heart beat, quick breathing, feeling sick, dry mouth, sweating, tense muscle, getting very hot.

Emotional: Preoccupied by upsetting, scary or negative thoughts, nervous, on edge, panicky, full of dread, or overwhelmed, alert to noises, smells or sights, worrying about being unable to cope with daily activities, worry that impacts your concentration.

There are also some common coping strategies that people with anxiety use. These include: withdrawing or isolating themselves, repeating certain behaviours, eating more or less, self harming.

The young minds website includes an animation of the stress bucket which is a clear way of showing how anxiety and stress can make us feel and what we can do to overcome that feeling. https://edubirdie.com/blog/how-to-avoid-stress-in-college

Ways to improve anxiety

1. Talk to someone you trust, e.g. parent or carer, friend, teacher or counsellor
2. Practice mindfulness, yoga or relaxation- this a great tool as focusing on the present
3. Spend quality time with friends and family 4. Seek professional help. Seek to your GP, use an online counselling service https://www.kooth.com/
4. Practise a healthy balanced lifestyle

Self harm and suicidal thoughts can be a tricky subject for people to talk about. However, it is important that we do. It is very common and you can beat it.

Self harm

Self harm is the act of harming yourself with the intention to cause pain. This is usually done to release some stress or pain that the person is feeling in their life or to show how they are feeling. It’s important to remember that self harm is not also obvious.

Some examples of self harm include:

• Using drugs, alcohol
• Not eating, overeating or forcing yourself to throw up
• Spending all our time on addictive behaviours such a gambling, gaming or social media
• Over exercising or exercising when injured
• Getting into fights
• Getting into situations on purpose when you risk getting hurt
• Risky sexual behaviours

Things you can do to help

1. Seek professional help. Speak to your local GP, contact your local children’s service NELFT, or speak to an online counsellor
2. Keep a journal of your self harm, to track what is triggering your harmful behaviours. You can also use this to note how you are feeling, or to doodle to distract yourself.
3. Download the calm harm app, which is designed to reduce self harm.

Suicidal thoughts

When someone has suicidal thoughts, this does not mean that the person it going attempt suicide. However, it does mean that they need help and support. All suicidal thoughts should be taken seriously.

If you know someone is having suicidal thoughts, here are some things you can do to support them:

1. Take their feelings seriously
2. Let them know you are really glad they told you
3. Listen and emphasise with how they are feeling
4. Think about what is making them feel this way
5. Try to get a sense of what their thoughts and intentions are
6. Reassure them
7. After the conversation seek professional advice. Call 111 if it is not an emergency. If you feel the person is an immediate danger to themselves call 999 or the Samaritans on 116 123.

If you are having suicidal thoughts

• Seek advice.
• Speak to someone that your trust, whether this is a family member, friend, teacher or counsellor.
• Get support from your GP or contact a support such as ChildLine, Samaritans, or 111 for non-emergency. For all emergencies call 999

All families are different and unique. However, they all have their ups and downs, which can have an impact of a young person’s emotional wellbeing. These difficulties can make it hard for some young people to open up their parent and carer for support. This could be due to lots of different reasons. Some include: parent separation, new siblings, arguments, domestic violence, abuse, neglect, differences in personalities etc.

Often young people can blame themselves in family difficulties. These can result is feelings of anger, upset, low mood, depression and anxiety.

Support

Find someone you trust to talk to outside of the family. This could be a friend, teacher, counsellor or someone else.

Seek advice from a counselling service like Kooth https://www.kooth.com/

Contact a national service such as Youthline who specialise in family difficulties. https://www.youthlineuk.com/what-is-counselling/family-problems/